I picked up a local magazine the other day and was skimming an article by a designer who was giving advice on how to avoid the overdone, Clark Griswold look when decorating for the holidays. She got my full attention when she made the comment…
“…in my opinion, tinsel is always tacky.”Say what? That used to be my absolute favorite part of decorating the Christmas tree.Ornaments, being fragile, and strings of lights, involving electricity, demanded close parental supervision as kids helped decorate. But when it came time to put the icing on the cake, Mom and Dad could freely relinquish this task to us. A new box of tinsel would be opened and we could just go to town. It was crazy fun to transform the tree into a glorious and glittery masterpiece by draping hundreds and hundreds of these wispy silver strands from its boughs.
“Moderation” was surely an alien concept during those years, which meant the tree probably ended up looking like it had weathered a tinsel factory explosion, but hey, it was our creation and we’d had fun. Which, I’m betting, was my parents’ main objective. And, as I reflect, I doubt they would have traded that just to have our home selected for a Holiday Tour of Indianapolis.
All this got me to wondering: just how many other tacky things am I fond of? And what’s even considered tacky, anyway? Me being of the inquisitive sort, did some heavy duty research… on Google.
You’d be surprised what some people consider tacky. Or maybe you wouldn’t. I was, though.
Things like king size beds, cruises, and big TV’s made some people’s lists. Which made me wish I could do some laboratory testing of said items for the sake of evaluating… you know, just so I could form an educated opinion as to their alleged tackiness.
Others listed things like name dropping, not writing thank you notes, and having a toothpick hanging out of your mouth as being tacky, to which I sort of nodded. But for the life of me, I just couldn’t understand how Long Island, PTA and Corvettes could be classified as such.
And — don’t ask me why — it came as quite a surprise that the whole “tinsel on Christmas trees” issue came up, again.
So, I guess it just might be that one person’s tacky is perhaps another person’s classy. Hmmm…
But if you ever see me – and the likelihood of this actually happening becomes greater and greater, as I inch ever closer to my Golden Years – chewing Big Red gum* while wearing a neon velour warm up suit with the logo emblazoned across the butt AND feather earrings, please, please, please make a citizen’s arrest and immediately remand me to the Tacky Police.
My future, dotty Self thanks you.
[* I’m not a gum chewer, as a rule, mostly because whenever I take leave of my senses and accept a stick of gum from a well-intentioned friend, I invariably bite the inside of my cheek. My one encounter with Big Red gum revealed its power to radically alter my personality. I think “sassy” was the descriptor I heard… And, yes, gum chewing made some people’s lists. You had a hunch about that, though, right?]